Gentlemen, It's Okay to Say You're Sorry

By Gordon Hanlon, Coach of Fort Worth Outlaws and TCU Rugby

There’s always discussion around the dark arts in rugby, especially in relation to the scrum, my favorite part of the game. It’s no longer the same though, with the new cadence, smaller gap and now the brake foot coming in, the scrums are fairly consistent. The dark arts are not quite the same. If you just get in a strong position, keep your binds and stay square you’ll do well. (That’s obviously what will be coached if any referees are reading this). Definitely, for sure.

It’s similar to how people will say men don't say sorry. An old fallacy if you ask me. There are times in the game where it is essential. As a good person, playing a good game, sometimes you’re just compelled to say sorry.

Just imagine a situation where you’ve gotten the ball from your left, stepped off the left foot, taken the outside vs the MLR pro player and then pop it to a guy switching back under. Here’s where sometimes you end up planting that left foot, putting your hands in the air and turning back inside and rotating around. Accidentally, of course, you've ended up boxing out the best defender on the field who is stuck behind you, as the attacker runs through the gap. Clearly it’s a “sorry mate, sorry about that, so sorry whilst he tries to get around you”.

As we get older and we get into rucks, it takes a while to get back up, us old people need some help, another random situation could be when you happen to have all your weight on top of the younger player, one hand accidently keeping him on the ground as the ball is passed away. Just to let him know it’s not personal, make sure you say sorry, a lot, as he tries to get up, and is forced down again, “sorry about this, sorry again.”

Heaven forbid, as an older player you have to make a tackle, let's just say the ball bounces over the attacker's head, he turns his back to you and you make the tackle. A swinging arm wraps around him and the ball as you’re on top, and our old joints, they’re not as nimble as before, so we may end up accidently pinning that ball underneath him as he tries to place it. Make sure you’re saying sorry here, as he struggles to get the ball out, purely on accident that is pinned right under him so he can’t play quickly. You roll away and someone comes to take the ball from him, obviously a sorry here is important, it will allay the frustrations.

Let's say we no longer have the legs, getting back into the defensive line can be tough, going from right to left, breakdown is set, the number 9 is sprinting to get there quickly. If ever you find yourself in the situation where you go at 45 degrees across the front of the breakdown to get into the defensive line. Make sure you say sorry to the 9 who now has no sight of the ball and has to check his run to get there. You’ve impeded him, but purely by accident. That’s a situation where you should be saying sorry. Especially in touch, people tend to get upset, so a “sorry mate” with a hand up is very helpful.

I will say though if you catch a forward pass and score in the corner to win, and the defender is quite perturbed saying “that was forward”, “yeah, sorry you’re right” does not tend to work as well. They’ll be inclined to turn to the ref and go see he admitted it and then blow up when you go “no I didn’t”, because it is one thing to say you’re sorry, it’s another to admit guilt.